A Fool's Heaven

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 00:09:05 GMT

i n a b i g c o u n t r y - b i g c o u n t r y

http://www.minderella.com/lyrics/bigcountry.htm

come up screaming
come up screaming

i've never seen you look like this without a reason
another promise fallen through
another season passes by you
i never took the smile away from anybody's face
and that's a desperate way to look
for someone who is still a child

in a big country dreams stay with you
like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
stay alive

i thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
but you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered
i'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
but i can live and breathe
and see the sun in wintertime

in a big country dreams stay with you
like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
stay alive
in a big country dreams stay with you
like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
stay alive

so take that look off of your face, it doesn't fit you
because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
pull up your head off the floor—come up screaming
cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
i thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
but you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered

i'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
but i can live and breathe
and see the sun in wintertime

in a big country dreams stay with you
like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
stay alive

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 20:22:15 GMT

Boo.

I thought I could be like Hillary Clinton only, you know, without the penis.

Can I tie you to a stick and use you as a white flag?

Yo! The mafia supports ya but don't tell no one! Spread the word!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had no arms. Why did the girl fall out of the tree? She was stapled to the monkey.

It's not so much a museum as a basment full of albums.

You know, I never realized how smooth the skin between your achne is.

Chocolate may be better for you than once thought. In a recent twelve day study...

This is what he looks like. Well, most of the time. Sometimes he's an eskimo or a woman.

Where are these guys going? (Beats me. THis better not be one of those three hour tours they talk about on Nick at night.

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen DEAD from a bough, without ever having felt sorry for itself.

The sun and moon... the ebb and flow of the Pacific tides... global warming... the very angle of the Earth upon its axis... these are just some of the things I control in my world.

You know the best thing about pain, it let's you know you're not dead yet.

I had a busted watch once and it was right, twice a day.

I like you better when you drink. (You know Cortez, *I* like you better when I drink.)

That plot makes perfect sense. Wink Wink. (Bender, you said "wink wink" outloud.) No I didn't. Raise little finger.

You wanna play tic-tac-toe again before we eat our shoes?

Am I the only memeber of this team that thinks world domination is more important than lunch?!

I'll never forget Larry's words when he told me. He said (I gotta pee.)

Tough day, honey? (Or those are the two black eyes of a job well done?)

ARR! Water! It burns!

Keep laughing no matter how lame the joke gets!

Guess it's down to just you and me. One of us is gonna win that paid vacation. (But I don't wanna feed Grandma bacon in the bathroom.)

We'll buy new planet and act like it's sacred.

Because she's an ugly bitch! (How ugly is she?) Glad ya asked. Been working on a top ten list.

You be careful now! Try not to scare the sea monsters!

You wanna talk about akward moment, once during sex I called Louis "Frank".

I say we fight the British and send them back to whatever country they came from!

Ew! Your breath smells like kitty litter! (I was curious!)

That song usually doesn't last three hours but we got into a thing and then we forgot the ending to the song.

Cupid musta heard me doing that ancient love chant last night. (That wasn't an ancient chant, that was the theme from the Love Boat.) Ancient to me.

I've got a delivery... It's a heart. A human heart. For an organ transplant. (That ain't your lunch?)

What the hell are you talking about? Animals fight all the time. (Not with Nuclear Arms! You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.)

The ultimate tool in humiliation! (Eddy, ... that's my lunch from school for last year.)

Prepare to meet your MAKER! (Aunt Ruthy!)

Put this on Ed, it will protect the turtle.

Louis go get the medical dictionary and look up 'fork' and 'lung'. (...Why?) Louis, time is a factor here!

You guys, we've got a letter from Brian. (Uh, tell-tell him I'm not here.)

What's in my coffee! (Sweet & Lo. That's what you get for trying to steal my woman!) Go back and bring it with urine like I asked!

Anyone seen my foot?

Oh Mighty Phaaro, it hurts when I breath. (Well then, what do you think you should stop doing?)

The cruelty of the old Phaaro is a thing of the past. (*crowds cheer*) A new wave of cruelty is about to begin! (*crowds cheer*)

How many children do you want? (Three. One of each.)

Dear Adult Swim Viewers,
We regretfully inform you that we
won't have viewer card night
tonight because all the posts suck.
[Kotal2]
Dear Kotal2,
Actually, we regret to inform you
that the previous post was untrue.
Oh tonight's cards still suck.
But we will be showing them.
[Adult Swim]

"And you lad, all you need is a brain." "Why does everybody keep saying that?"

"I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there and you were there and you were there."

Right. Like we're gonna fall for that. Some guy 'took our nose' when we were three. Bastard's still got the damn thing.

Shows are like dead relatives in cheesy movies. They never really die.

A truly strong man would never do anything for a girl. The same way a strong dog never barks.

Sorry but I want money more than love!

Fun for the whole family, except Grandma and Grandpa.

But existing is basically all I do!

Doctor: Heart.
Patient: Take! I've got four of them!
Doctor: Stomach contents; one deviled egg.
Patient: Deviled Egg! *grabs and eats*
Doctor: *sighs* The SAME deviled egg.

I was God once. (Yes, I saw. You did well until everyone died.)

Hey! *bangs on laundry room door* Let us out of here! We heated up our shoes in the dryers and ate them and now we're bored!

"If you through enough manure at a barn wall, some of its bound to stick."
-My French teacher, referring to never leaving an answer on a test blank

If I am on fire, put me out. If you put me out by rolling me on the ground, do not let me roll down a hill. If I do roll down a hill and get stuck under some bushes, just leave me there; you've given me enough "help" already.

"And so the beating continued long into the night, until Blob finally put Pietro out of all of our miseries." Xavier read with a smile. "Then the police arrest poor Freddy and he was convicted of first degree man slaughter and sentence to 30 years in prison, where he was killed by a Shiv in the back four years into his sentence." Xavier said as he closed the book. The X-Men and Brotherhood stared at Xavier in utter shock. Except for Wanda, who had a huge smile.
"Holy hell!' Scott stated.
"You really need help…" Lance stated.
"Tell it again! Tell it again!" Wanda clapped.

"I'm sorry Freddy, I'm not your father, Logan is…." Xavier said with a smile as Blob got a look of horror on his face as everyone stared at Wolverine, who had a look of shock on his face.
"I never got that drunk…" Logan said defensively as he took a nip from his flask.

"And so the Brotherhood, who were nice and rested, began to beat the X-Men, who were still tired and weak after long hours of work. Once the Brotherhood was done maiming the poor defenseless X-men, they kicked them out into the cold, taking over the mansion as their own." Xavier said with a smile as he closed the giant book in front of him.
"I liked that story." Lance said with a smile. "I sincerely enjoyed it…"

Kitty and her twelve boyfriends left.

He suddenly heard a voice coming from the window. He walked over to it to see Lance at the bottom.
"Well well!" Pietro said with a smirk.
"Pietro, what are you doing in there, you traitor!" Lance demanded.
"That's none of YOUR business, Alvers!" Pietro teased. Then he paused. "You REALLY need to see this."
"See what?" asked Lance.
"It looks like the Professor or someone has written an X-Men Evolution fanfiction and YOU'RE in it!" Pietro said, laughing.
"WHAT?!" Lance yelled. "Is it another one where I'm in love with Kitty or one where I rejoin the X-Men?"
"Even better!" Pietro giggled. "You're in love with SUMMERS!"
"I'll be right up!" Lance said as he began to scale the side of the building.

Mo loses a lot of stuff. (I bet he does.) In fact in the lost 'n found we have an entire section devoted to him. It's in a big box. We gave him the box back once. He lost it.

012) Scott has over twenty pairs of sunglasses... and they are all the same style.
015) Xavier can walk - he's just lazy

No one deserves anything but a good, swift kick in the pants.

"Ok obviously it can! So Scott, what would Logan do, Yes what would Logan do? Well he'd rip things up with his claws! No, no, no that wouldn't work . . . I don't have claws! Think Scott, think. Well I could, oh look vodka. Who cares why would I want out if I can find alcohol at my feet every time I wake up?"

"All I ever wanted in life was to get with kitty, she's cute!" drools slightly before regaining his composure, "And then I though maybe have a few kids, a nice house and garden, to become RULER OF THE WORLD! *Cough, cough * I didn't just say that, it wasn't originally on my list of things to do but it sounds good so I might put it on." Looks franticly around the room, "Where did I put that thing?" Feels in his back pocket, "oh here it is!"
Picking up a pencil he starts to write, "number 5! Rule t-h-e w-o-r-l-d! There!" smiling triumphantly he put the pencil back on the desk and the paper into his pocket.

Helen sat in physics class, learning about ... she didn't know. She was busy trying to sleep with her eyes open.

It's just a stupid stuffed animal! (It is? So that's why it hasn't been eating the mice.)

Well, okay, to be honest, the pay sucked, as it only came whenever Magneto wasn't using up all their funds on paying for bails, skin grafts, or new costumes after every single fight with the X-Men. And even when they did get paid, it was usually just a handful of buttons that had been painted silver to crudely resemble coins.

Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. We all start out winners. After all: who here won the sperm race? I know I did.

She checked her watch and groaned. " According to MY watch it's 00:00, blink blink blink. Great. There's 10 bucks I won't see again.

"She's gone crazy!" Erik yelled.
"She didn't have that far to go,"

"Can't sleep, Jean'll eat me. Can't sleep, Jean'll eat me. Can't sleep, I'll eat Jeanie. Can't sleep, I'll eat Janey. Can't sleep- Wait a minute! I'll eat ~Sarah~! That's what her real name is. That's better."

He didn't offer to help, mainly because it was funnier to leave it be

An odd sound startled Lance and Kitty. They both looked at Wanda and were even more startled.
Wanda was laughing

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and it was a Monday lunchtime at school. Despite this, Rogue was in a strangely upbeat mood.

And so they're walking and they're walking and they're walking and they're walking and they're walking and they stop for a breather 'cause walking takes a lot of energy.

Intoxication was probably the only way to enjoy the company of these people.

"Nothing interesting happened", said Wanda, "we just talked...and got wet".
"It didn't rain Wanda", said Rogue simply.
"It's a long story", said Wanda.

"Whats wrong with Wanda?".
Everyone turned to Wanda, who was just smiling happily to herself.

Scott blinked, he had no response in words to this....so he started to cry.

He had to break the silence, everyone was so glum and..okay so Todd was unconsious and so didn't really count, but no one else had an excuse to be so dull.

Little Madrox wasn't having any easier time. He tried bracing pole A against his knee while putting pole C into it. The whole thing fell over in a noisy 'clang'. The whole mess fell against his leg, knocking out two other Jamie's who clutched their shin in pain. And idea struck. Each Jamie took a piece, and then they forced them together. Piece D is supposed to bend at socket 1? Feh! Who cares! MASH 'EM TOGETHER! WHOAOHAHAHAAA!
Ray was giving Jamie funny looks. "What? I … It's a tent!" Jamie pointed to the mangled pile of iron and canvas. Yeah… it stood, and it looked water-proof and wind-impervious, but it also looked like a tiny Logan attacked the poles. Two of his multiples were currently inside the tent, trying to figure how to get out.
"Where is the zipper?!"
"Why is it on the outside?"
"OW! Mosquitoes! Mosquitoes are in the tent!" Then the tent began to do what looked like a modern version of the Electric Slide as Jamie's dupes tried to escape. Still it was better than Bobby's tent.
"Bobby? Why is your tent in the lake?"

"Eoin:...home of the only three legged cow in the world Geraldine:You actually managed to bred a three legged cow? Eoin:Not exactly, but ive got a four legged cow and an axe"

</lj>

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 10:29:19 GMT


trunks are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Ah-hah! BWAHAHAHAHHA! Ohh.. that's so funny! ^-^

Mmmm... Trunks.... *leer*

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 09:47:11 GMT

Hello Mirror.

I see you standing there.

You're not looking at me.

Are you even listening?

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 14:55:30 GMT

Truthfully ... *stares at a quiz* If it came down to it *fingers are numb and waking up, needle feeling* If it came down to the three basic elements, or however many there are, if I really had to, I would probably give them up.

Oh, of course I would grieve. I care ... about them. For them and whatnot.

But if it came down to it, I would give.

If the page broke and there was a reason not to hold on to them, to trust them, I would let them go. If they made me doubt them.

My friends that is. But not that I would ever forget them ....

Shh! The squirrel can see us! I bet it's planning on using that acorn as a bomb. HE'S LOOKING AT US!

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 14:36:05 GMT

Those that know me, have suffered though it, so they know about it. But I bet you don't, 'Fool's Heaven'. I, Lisboa Miraflores, have conspiracy theories.

I theorize that there are ways to scam Yahell Webcams so that you can use another person's cam and trick someone into thinking that they are you. And then con them.

I theorize *name here* is a fourty/fifty some year old man living in his parents basement or another equally unlikeable place giving only his hand exercise. And not the good kind, most definitely.

A theory I have has is that Bush staged *terrible events here* to help his election ... s? It's not like he made any light deal of it during his whole campaign and term.

Names and events censored for privacy of me. Because these are a few of my theories and ...

I have copyright. ^__~

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 14:21:41 GMT

Once, long ago, I dreamt a soft, strange dream.

I dream of pools of water and fire. Sky that had fallen and had no limits. I dreamt the earth did not exist and small planes of existance, short platforms circling the pools of fire and water where all that could be stood on.

I had fallen into a pool of water while my brother was stolen high into the sky (a living creature almost) by a fierce bird of prey. The bird was animalistic and human at the same time. Dark and ...

There was a building made of soft wood, light colors almost I think. I remember people surrounding the building. It was a small scantuary outside of the pool of water.

When I was left in the darkness, after my brother was flown into the sky, I did my best to follow but kept getting stuck in the cold mud. The cold black. It wasn't night, night was friendlier. It wasn't a place I wanted to be in.

But somehow I followed and I arrived in a place of water. Pools and pools and water. Pools in pools even. Maybe bamboo... maybe soft pine. Some type of light tan building material hosted the scantuary.

But when I got to there, if I ever did, it wasn't me. I didn't exist by that point. There were others I knew, faces and souls I recognized. But if I was there even, they did not know me.

Old, strange dreams come to life. Old stories that had been written and read, drawn by others. (The Tenchi Muyo cast almost it seemed like. Ryoko was there, maybe. Her bright, harsh, confident spirit no less.)

The water was falling, on rocks maybe. Perhaps it was a spring. It was a ... home? Someplace wanted, safe.

This is when I knew I was of water.

And Bashii ... I realized it but today. Bashii is a ghost-child. A ghost-demon, though being born mortal. The demon who found and raised her was fire, earth even maybe. Probably most likely earth.

But I have been dreaming of ghosts and spirits for a long time now. That figure I've mentioned once before here, who held me from behind. I could not see him ... because he didn't exist.

The ghosts do not exist, because they have stopped existing. They have no reason left to, anymore.

The short boy with dark hair who laid by my side on the bed of candles and white flames was a ghost. He, who in the house of darkness and death and demons that swallowed my grandmother and me and brought out things that I feared, laid beside me.

That was all that I needed then. Though I kept falling down the stairs in that dream house, slipping into the house full of dark faces and sharp teeth, my grandmother and maybe my mother in that kitchen. Some small round things. Candy perhaps? By them.

The downstairs of that dream house was filled with dark things. Things that attacked me, or would have at the least, if they were inclined. Or maybe not. Perhaps that was just the way their souls were, demons. Born for blood. Or ... chaos? Insanity? The dark matters of the mind ...

Ryuo? Was one of those ghost children, figures, voices, such? Did one have a V in their name? They whispered to me, or screamed ... I never heard them much. I barely ever heard them at all.

'family'.... 'friends'....

'No. I don't want to play.'

'Shhh...

I can not remember anymore. I don't think they are here. Or if they are, I'm not looking for them. If you look for something, you believe you will find it. Even if you don't. Even if it's just in your imagination.

Made up.

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 00:16:27 GMT

http://dese.me.uk/j/2004/10/naruto_hard_wor.html

I'm hungry. :( And when I get hungry I get tired. :( And when I get tired, and I don't get relieved, I begin to hibernate.

I hibernated once for a month or two.

Too many problems.

Damn!

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 17:27:24 GMT

... Damn damn damn! I took this three, four times, switching a few answers, but 'keepin it real'. Damn! I still got this! I wanted ta see if I got something else! 's odd... usually I'll get atleast two or three different answers for ever few quizes or so. o__O Rare it seem so sure like this.

*coughs* >__> .... rather true too...

Protector

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

I swear I already logged in today!..

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 21:52:26 GMT

I just want to go lie down and sleep.

I don't think I'll move my desk back. I like looking out the window when I work. I wish they had bigger windows here, these are so TINY.

I should really clean and work on that essay. I need to find that paper.

Sleep...

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 16:36:53 GMT

And now Dad just calls me up (never seems to have anything nice to say..) telling me to 'find that ticket!'. He means the meal ticket. I haveta have it stamped (but I have a sneaky suspicioun (sp?) that it's at home). So I haveta find thirty dollars to drop and add two classes. Find (Where the hell is she?!) one teacher to have her sign one form. Find my adivisor again to sign the one form. Find the other form (I had it yesterday, it should still be ontop my books) and turn that in. Go to the study hall, wash without the fire alarm going off, go to the concert with those girls so I can 'Make some friends' (though I've actually been without friends for a long time), study for three tests Monday, get my essay ready for Tuesday (it's a midterm essay for my midterm class), clean the crap off my floor so I can find some not-so-ugly clothes, FINALLY find the time to organize my papers for my classes, and GET SOME SLEEP THAT DOESN'T RESULT IN WAKING OR SLEEPING NIGHTMARES.

Now I'm thinking it was goblins that woke me up ...

CrapNonsense

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 16:11:15 GMT

I swear *cracks neck* Like I don't need any more stress? I just got a letter about the Study Hall thing and I just found out about it like yesterday. Where it is and all. But I couldn't attend because I was so tired, I fell asleep and slept right through it. Then those girl in the hall played their CRAP AT EAR SPLITTING DECIBELS AND I COULDN'T HAVE SLEPT IF I WAS FIFTY MILES AWAY FROM THEM.

And I woke this morning at 6.00, just bare seconds before the fire alarm sounded. Hadta drag outa bed and down outside. I was gonna check my mail since I was up, but forgot I didn't have my keys. So I looked like a damn fool walking against the flow of girls, then turning around at the end of it.

I woke again at 8 (now this was a strange occurance) and now I'm thinking I was dreaming but I know I was awake then. It's all so strange.

I swear to anything I couldn't move. It was like ... I donno. I could NOT move. But then I saw something moving on the wall behind me, a long shadow. I've got nothing long like that in my room and as Kit and Minai know, there's no trees directly outside my window. It looked to me then like a leg for some reason, or an arm. Then I heard a voice. I think they said something like 'get up', or that's what they were trying to say. Like I heard them, but couldn't hear their words. I had all my boxes placed in front of my face when I'm sleeping so I could get to sleep last night b/c the light from outside was shining right in on me. So I couldn't see anyone beside me or behind me. I tried looking, but I couldn't move (could barely lift my head, and that was with effort) and the end of the blankets were hunched over my shoulders so I couldn't see past them.

Eventually, for some reason, I was able to twitch, then go back to sleep I fell. I woke up some time later, on my side, and it felt like there was someone holding my stomach though the blankets. Like momma used to do to wake me up I think? I can't remember.. But there was something pushing on my back, pushing against it and my back was facing the wall so this was an odd thing too. It felt like someone was lying on me. I really tried hard to move. It was worse than before. And I heard a voice, I'm pretty sure. I know they said something with a C but what I thought they said couldn't be right.

It can't be. I donno. I musta missheard it. I didn't hear them clearly because I was too tired to listen and they were speaking softly. (She?) But I think it was "i am controlling you". Maybe it was comfort? Why could it be comfort? I donnno. Why do I think it could be that? It's all so vague now, it feels like I dreamed it but I know it happened, even though I doubt it. I heard someone speaking to me twice and my room is locked, I was lying on my side though they pushed my back and stomach. There was no one else there, I think. I hadta get up and go, I wouldn't go near my bed after I woke up. My neck is still very sore.

'least I wouldn't until after my first class. Oii Oii Oii. My neck hurts so. I keep rubbing and cracking it but it's sore. Sore.

CFF post

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 18:32:24 GMT

You remind me of my brother sometimes...

I WISH I HAD CHICKEN! And EGGROLLS. And TACOS. And DRINKS. AND THE ABILTIY TO GET THEM.

*insert swear word/angry emote here* I swear, they purposely do LESS for me so I have to do more. I ONLY ever ask for help when I NEED it. If I say "I need.." for ANYTHING, then I NEED it. I NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING I DON'T NEED.

I'm used to hunger. In fact, I feel strange when I'm not hungry. I'm at level 1.1 stage of hunger. I should be at between stage 7-8 at dinner time. It's lunch now but I just ... don't feel up to going to the cafeteria. I know I'm going to have a confrontation with the school people today. I HAVE to. And knowing them, it's not going to be pretty, and I'm going to be embarrassed, and I'll end up in finally leaving after a long long time in a huff.

I'm worried about this consoulor they want me to go to. I'm afraid what in the world she's going to want to talk to me about. What could she but ...? Don't make stupid cracks about I could 'go say this' or 'go do that'. It's NOT going to help!

Atleast I woke up on a regular sleep schedule. I woke up at 7.44am right after a beautiful dream about me reading a book about Stargate. Jack was interrogating Sam, then went to talk to Daniel under some pipes in onea the SGC's corridors. And somehow I knew that because of some thing that was in Daniel that was supposed to give him knowledge or something, he would die in twenty more years. And apparently I feel asleep reading the book, because when I woke it was dark in the library. I was originally there to find manga. My last dream was about manga too...

I woke up because I had suddenly thought about my alarm and wondered what time it was. And now when I wake up, I can't go back to sleep. I can wake up MINUTES before an exact time. It's ... about control I guess. My last resort cd player shattered last night. I can't pick up ANY radio stations (and I'd hang out the window if it'd help but it wouldn't), and I have no cassette tapes, and even if I did have any at home, bro and dad wouldn't bring them to me and they wouldn't take me home to find them. I WISH MY FUCKING COMPUTER WOULD WORK RIGHT! Stupid fucking laptop.

I know that consoler (whateverthehellit'sspelled) is going to ask about Momma and say "what are your feelings" blah blah fucking blah and she won't let me go until I say something. I'm cold.

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 00:23:10 GMT

I had onea the best dreams I've had in a long long while about an hour ago. The only reason I woke up was because I hadta scramble to get dressed for my meeting that I actually ended up just on time for.

I remember first of all, my headphones were plugged into my laptop and suddenly--they started working! I was so amazed, I kept checking to see if it was really true or not.

And then I was in some public room playing a video game on a television, normal size, that was mounted on a wall or something. I wasn't doing too hot but I actually didn't care then! And there were some people in the room and I didn't mind them either! I think onea'em came over and started playing for me or something. I ended up talking to someone else, maybe. Or maybe the same person.

For some reason, I think we talked about candies for awhile because I saw some candy bags and machines, like my dream was illustrated or something. It was pretty neat. There was a whole floor of something like a dorm room but bigger, just covered in bags of candy.

And then the scene just sorta fast forward or maybe we just talked that long. I remember talking to someone taller than me. It felt like I was sitting down though I'm not sure I was, but the person was standing by me like I was. So grand!

But in the next scene, the room got sorta dark, like it was night and didn't have enough lights or something. Then the person I was talking to before, a guy, was standing behind me. I didn't see his face the whole time actually, but I could sense when he was behind me that some part of it was dark. Either long dark hair, which I'm pretty sure he had, or dark eyes.

He started running his fingers through my hair which though I washed last night, got floppy because I woke up early and sweaty. (I daresay I don't want to know the dream that woke me up then.) It was such a nice feeling, and when he was done my hair had fallen in some position I usually don't wear it in, though it still felt nice.

^-^ Then he was holding like right below my chest or something and had his chin on my head I think. I think I remember something warm by my ear, and something on my head too though. And he just sorta touched my chest maybe once or twice, non-sexual and non-groping. And he was holding his arms around my arms which I think were just doing nothing (sorta like a fool), and hugging me. And I felt very small and rather short which is a grand feeling indeed for someone like me.

The last guy I think I dreamed about was several years ago. We were in my grandmother's house oddly enough, only it wasn't quite my grandmother's house. I'm not sure how to explain but I remember the stairs in there lead somewhere strange and quite foreign.

But upstairs in one of the rooms, for some reason I was lieing on a bed and the room was filled with candles that were either orange themselves, or orange from the light they cast. And either I was facing the wall or the candles. I think I had a tilted perspective of the dream. Then some short kid with short, maybe orange-ish brown hair (though it coulda been the candles) was lieing beside me. I think he put his hand on my shoulder.

That was mostly all, though for some reason, I got the impression I knew the dark tall guy from somewhere else. Maybe he was the kid, grown up? And we were reminissing? Whatever that word is...

I've never had a sexual dream nor had any sort of romantic dream about the guys (anime or not) between me or them. (Not counting daydreams. ^^) I do remember, however, having a few dreams about just those characters. Having a dream just about the character, even if they don't do anything, is like ... well, it's a lot stronger than reality. My dreams always are. It's more than like being there by the person, or seeing them. It's like being a part of the person. Understanding a new layer of depth to them or something...

I remember one Mirai dream offhand; I think I had two. For some reason he was looking out of the window in my parents bathroom but instead of seeing woods, there was a street outside. The setting was dark, sort of dark brown and old, stained colors.

For some reason I got the impression that there were zombies in the street. The rest that my memory lasted with is only that it was Mirai. I got to see him as more than he really was.

I'm not lieing when I say my dreams are stronger than reality. They're more vivid than reality. Humans can only see in a limited amount of colors, but in my dreams, it's beyond that. Humans use only about 10 percent of their brain in daily living, but my dreams seem to be beyond that somehow. It's like I'm living another life almost, except that instead of having to leave my body behind so I don't overexert my soul in two worlds, I get to take it with me. (Sounds sorta lame.) I get ... I get ... to look ... inside my soul?

I said once, the only reason I live is to dream. I don't think they got the message just what I meant then. I've dreamed planets and saw an actually universe divide that was more profound than the night sky. I saw a split tear through the black air and rip into threads that was too real. It was like breathing, like flying. Stronger even.

I've flown once. Only it was more like floating. I was standing on top of an old couch of ours infront of some windows that faced the street. For some reason I was standing on the headrests with my arms sorta open. I think I just leaned forward a bit, and I was flying. Sort of gliding across the room, and by doing something with my arms, maybe almost 'pumping' them like I was swimming?, I was able to float all around there and eventually fly outside. It was like I was shown the first step, then learned the next. And it was like I was shown something else too. That flying is really all about letting go and leaning forward? Maybe some parts of life too?

I had one dream about the androids that I thought at first was a repeat of some kind of loss/kidnapping dream in a swamp. (That dream featured me, in someone else's body, running away with a large group of others and someone fell beneath a bridge we cross and got lost in the mud.) I remember sort of tree houses? Only they were more open platforms. And this was long before I read "Wicked".

For some reason there was a ... tide? by the tree platforms (which were raised rather high) and a large group of people were going to do something to punish this other person I think. I'm not sure whether or not there was a person there but I do remember someone backing into the water while the people advanced.

Then, suddenly, the person rose out of the water and aniliated (sp?) the entire village. So many people dying, screaming, lost in absolute terror.

The dream had only one real ... motive you could say I guess; that the androids in Mirai Trunks' world could be anyone, anywhere. No one who was in the androids attacks would really survive them except for Mirai Trunks and Mirai Gohan. And as such, the people would be (put politely) rather rude and unwelcoming to any strangers. (Or they might try to runaway/shoot the stranger's head off.) That fear was the best course in such a civilization? I know some of you probably think you understand what I'm saying but ... to have been there so to speak! To have heard the android's words! Seen the villagers' voices! Watched the terror grow and grow ...

Maybe I'm doing more than just dreaming? Maybe I'm living another's life? Not ... not such as living a person who already exists or is alive or isn't, their life ... but maybe living someone, something more?

I found a bag of popcorn, so I was able to get something to eat today, but I sorta ... burned some of it. *slouches* I was really seriously considering taking out those two slices of pizza someone threw in the trash. They were still in the box but ... I hadta go to class and now I don't want anyone to see me if I do and ... I have too much pride.

And just when I finally found a snack machine with some snacks in it, it wouldn't take my dollar bills! They were perfectly flat and I put them in right, but the machine took the bills, made some whirrring noises, then shot the bills out all wrinkled and crumpled. Which we all know machine's won't take those kinds of bills.

And because I don't feel like typing all out, I'm going to use Leelai's conversation about why I was considering taking trash to eat.

mt_otaku (1:11:08 PM): I'm afraid I'm rather pissed right now.
lovablelily05 (1:11:16 PM): what happened?
mt_otaku (1:12:34 PM): Brother wouldn't get me lunch though he KNEW I was hungry and though he KNEW I would miss the school lunch and I'm not even sure I can GET the school lunch anymore because dad wouldn't pay my finacial bill that EXPIRED several DAYS ago. Among other things.
lovablelily05 (1:13:03 PM): oO wtf?! *glares at your bro and dad*
mt_otaku (1:13:34 PM): They're mad because I was doing my work for my classes in college instead of helping them clean the house.
mt_otaku (1:13:53 PM): And dad implied that I should come home though I TOLD him TWICE I had a LOT of work to do. So I came.
lovablelily05 (1:13:55 PM): wtf?! *starts mumbling about complete idiots*
mt_otaku (1:14:35 PM): NO ONE ever FUCKING LISTENS TO ME. Bro brought me a FUCKING APPLE because I told him I was so FUCKING HUNGRY I felt like throwing up and they all KNOW Apples make me hungryer!
lovablelily05 (1:14:52 PM): OO
mt_otaku (1:15:00 PM): Red Apples.
lovablelily05 (1:15:08 PM): *feels bad about complaining yesterday about food*
mt_otaku (1:15:08 PM): I hate red apples. They love them.
mt_otaku (1:15:18 PM): I love yellow apples. They hate yellow apples.
mt_otaku (1:15:27 PM): Dad hasn't talked normally to me in weeks.
lovablelily05 (1:15:36 PM): but why not?
mt_otaku (1:16:04 PM): Because he's either criticising me, complaining about me to me, interrogating me, or yelling at me.
mt_otaku (1:16:13 PM): I told bro this and he didn't believe me.
lovablelily05 (1:16:23 PM): i say record it!
mt_otaku (1:16:35 PM): It was during our conversation on why I went in my room to work last night.
lovablelily05 (1:16:38 PM): and then take it to the proper authorities! *blinks* i did not just say that..
mt_otaku (1:16:53 PM): There are no proper authorites.
lovablelily05 (1:16:54 PM): you have a recorder?
mt_otaku (1:16:56 PM): NO.
mt_otaku (1:16:58 PM): *no.
lovablelily05 (1:17:14 PM): *blinks* not even a radio that would record it?
mt_otaku (1:17:38 PM): Oh yeah.. and one last thing. I was bringing hotdogs and cheese slices up and Bro got pissed and took them from me.
lovablelily05 (1:17:39 PM): you could record your dad's behavior and then show it to your brother
mt_otaku (1:17:40 PM): No.
lovablelily05 (1:17:51 PM): oO he stole you food?!
lovablelily05 (1:18:05 PM): your*
mt_otaku (1:18:09 PM): All I have up here is fucking --he said it was HIS food though I fucking doubt dad bought it JUST FOR HIM.
lovablelily05 (1:18:10 PM): *glares daggers at him*
mt_otaku (1:18:30 PM): spagetti alison made two weeks ago that gives me diarrea and three cheese slices.
lovablelily05 (1:18:39 PM): oO
mt_otaku (1:18:42 PM): He DOESN'T FUCKING CARE.
lovablelily05 (1:18:45 PM): two weeks ago?!
mt_otaku (1:18:54 PM): Yes.
lovablelily05 (1:19:04 PM): i think your brother needs..taught a lesson..
mt_otaku (1:19:14 PM): He won't fucking care.
mt_otaku (1:19:19 PM): He'll hit back.
lovablelily05 (1:19:26 PM): no..that's not what i meant
lovablelily05 (1:20:31 PM): i meant..maybe you should..i don't know..er...maybe..disappear for awhile..and like get someone or someones to help you..and then..umm..have your brother think you've been kidnapped or something..
lovablelily05 (1:20:39 PM): and your dad too..make them appreciate you more
mt_otaku (1:20:51 PM): i can't.
mt_otaku (1:20:55 PM): I would if I could but I can't.
mt_otaku (1:21:01 PM): If I could, I'd run away forever.
lovablelily05 (1:21:12 PM): you can come stay with me! ^^
mt_otaku (1:22:28 PM): And of course I try calling dad to tell him i'm back at the school but he's not home (though he should be by now) so he's probably up in with fucking alison by now.
mt_otaku (1:22:48 PM): And of course, Bro'll get to talk to him first, tell him his side of the story, and dad'll never listen to mine.
mt_otaku (1:23:30 PM): I didn't even get to finish my homework.

*doesn't remember all of what was in that convo.* Wanna see something odd?

mt_otaku (1:02:01 AM): Ahh night
mt_otaku (1:06:20 PM): The Nirvana fics are up at CFF. Use those.

*points to the timestamps* Blarg! *picks burnt popcorn outa teeth* "am" "pm" People. Kinda cool, eh?

Oh and erm... one last thing on my dream. ^^ It mighta been because I was lying on my chest in a t-shirt insteada a sleeping shirt like normal. I ermm... >.> don't have small ... <.< chest. And it was also probably because of the thick sleeping bag I brought along for cold nights that I laid over the blankets I was under. No sheet, just soft, thick-thin blankets. (Thin blankets with thick ... furry, wolly fabric. Very nice.)

*edit several hours later*
For almost two or so hours after the dream, my back had a fading warm, like I was hugged fiercely and lovingly. It made me so so very happy, I was able to be nice and cooperate in a group discussion somewhat. I smiled a lot more than usual. ^^

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 00:55:51 GMT

>___< We just had a fire drill (screeching monotone alarm when off at ear splitting decibels). So at 8:28pm I hadta grab some clothes and wander out with the rest of the ingrates. (Could they move any SLOWER?! There's a dying cat screaming in our ears!) Needless to say, I was so fucking confused as to what was going on, I didn't bring my shoes. So now the edge of my pants are ruined. But, it's not like they were my good pants to begin with... Anyways this poor girl was in the middle of her shower and was wrapped in only a short orange towel, shampoo still in her hair. She was a lot friendlier than I woulda been mostly naked, in the middle of the school grounds, with boys nearby. We had to walk all the way from the damn dorms to the school parking lot and the main building beside it. Enlightening. And then just as we got there, this fat fucker rolled by on his loopsided golf cart. I say loopsided because I SWEAR that cart was tipping over some. Then he ROLLED on by again as we were walking back saying "Maybe someone took a hot shower and triggered the alarm." ... I haven't had a warm, much less HOT shower in days here! Oh man was that guy FAT and UGLY! I can see even more why dad called them "High Speed Pursuit Vehicles", those guys on those golf carts. Maannn... not even I ever got them to go THAT fast and I'm nowhere NEAR HALF that guy's weight.

Amazing, in't?

Still gotta do my homework and draw an outline or something of that vision I had ... this morning. >_< Should be 'last night' but it wasn't. >___< This is bad. This is very bad.

But I did manage to move my furniture all around. Now I only need to get a longer cable cord. This one is too short combined with the phone cord.

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 12:46:42 GMT

I realize that I may be making a GRAVE mistake, *thinks ahead one more time and considers that this is the second week of school* but I think I'm just going to go to sleep instead of going to class.

I think I'll email the teacher and say I was sick and ask what I need to do and that stuff. In some senses, I am. I worry only about if he/she will ask for proof. I don't know if...

I worry because this is only the second week and I haven't been to this class once because I keep sleeping through it accidently. Though I realize that now, it meets but twice a week. So I only missed about three classes.

I have a LOT of books to read. I need to do that as soon as possible. If I sleep now, I'll have that chance. If I go to class, I won't.

To Sleep = To Study
Going to Class = Not Studying

Miss the class and have the time to sleep or go and be so damned tired that I sleep straight through the rest of the day and night and get woken up by Bro and can't get back to sleep again and possible repeat this vicious vicious cycle.

Though now my body is relaxing because I realized I really really really don't want to go and I'm naked because the clothes I was wearing weren't comfortable. *remembers she should lock her door when possible*

My heart is soft again. Before it was beating so loud I could hear it, like distant drums too near or something...

I should... write .. maybe yes.. what good will I be if I go? my hands are tired of this laptop... need a softer surface...

i slept from noon to eight. eight hours out of two days. i didn't sleep yet. if i go it will be eight hours out of three dyas. if i sleep it will be a bigger fraction.

twelve outa two? better even? if i can't get to sleep... clothes.. clean... my hair... my face is dirty.. wash..

shoes.. clothes... too much grease... unhealthy... why am i like this? sawah seems to be doing fine ... unhealthy... i was happy before... so recenlty..

did bro break the cycle? he woke me up... shouldn't have

Kitsu-kun: I'm wary of China-chan. *laughs* I treat her like any other wild animal. Scared? No. But wary..

or something like that.

Blue-san: China-chan can give her own ass kicking if need be. But I'm not afraid of her. I know if she chews me out I deserved it. She's a good judge of character.

I gotta fix those to what they really are. this is asi remember it be/ca i can't touch my mouse ust yet and to find would toake too long.

it's too lante, been too long.

Should I stay? Or should I go?

By the time you see this, I'll already be dead.

{edit}

Here's the whole of the conversation those exerts were ... reproduced by memory from.

Me (12:46:16 AM): *just realized she chased off two people and the rest of the conf might be scared of'er* ^__^;;
Kitsu-kun (12:46:29 AM): That chatroom is a collection of most cyber sexers online
Kitsu-kun (12:46:33 AM): *laughs*
Me (12:46:45 AM): *laughs*
Me (12:46:56 AM): The Mastrubation seciotn.... sad... >.> Very sad.
Kitsu-kun (12:47:23 AM): *nod nod*
Blue-san (12:48:30 AM): *isn't scared of china*
Kitsu-kun (12:48:40 AM): *is always a little wary*
Eric (12:48:50 AM): yoiu read a masterbation section?
Me (12:48:53 AM): ^_^; *laughs*
Eric (12:48:57 AM): (so how was it?)
Kitsu-kun (12:48:59 AM): I love carnivorous animals but I'm not unafraid of them!
Eric (12:49:03 AM): j/kj/k!!
Me (12:49:04 AM): Nah, I was in it looking for *laughs* target practice.
Kitsu-kun (12:49:04 AM): That's how it is with China-chan
Eric (12:49:08 AM): DONT ANSWER THAT!!
Me (12:49:13 AM): *laughs*
Me (12:49:19 AM): Go and see for yourself.
Eric (12:49:26 AM): no thanks
Blue-san (12:49:34 AM): no i just.....well i dunno
Blue-san (12:49:46 AM): i have no reason to be, really scared of her...
Blue-san (12:49:59 AM): i mean yeah...china can deal her portion of ass-chew
Me (12:50:06 AM): ^__^;
Blue-san (12:50:13 AM): but i feel that if she were to chew me out...i would deserve it
Me (12:50:22 AM): Just meant b/c I bascially blew up and sent two people screaming off. *laughs*
Blue-san (12:50:25 AM): cause she's a very good judge of character

And here's the main parts I was trying to duplicate.

Me (12:46:16 AM): *just realized she chased off two people and the rest of the conf might be scared of'er* ^__^;;

Blue-san (12:48:30 AM): *isn't scared of china*

Kitsu-kun (12:48:40 AM): *is always a little wary*
Kitsu-kun (12:48:59 AM): I love carnivorous animals but I'm not unafraid of them!
Kitsu-kun (12:49:04 AM): That's how it is with China-chan

Blue-san (12:49:46 AM): i have no reason to be, really scared of her...
Blue-san (12:49:59 AM): i mean yeah...china can deal her portion of ass-chew
Blue-san (12:50:13 AM): but i feel that if she were to chew me out...i would deserve it
Blue-san (12:50:25 AM): cause she's a very good judge of character

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 11:34:16 GMT

I don't reread old journal entries because then I'd feel the same things I felt when I wrote it. Mood-wise in the least. And I don't want to. So I have no idea what the journals linked to in this bio are about.

*stretches and looks at the clock* Seven fifteen. I should/haveto wash soon. But my class today (first of course) is a half hour later starting than the one yesterday.

Of course .... >.> I haven't been to this class yet and I was really kinda hoping to catch some sleep beforehand so I would be refreshed and ready to tackle what obstacles I'd encounter trying to get in (because there were sure to be some).

I was also depending on sleep to be able to go to the Big People today and ask them what Dad's been bugging me about. Not that I want to go to any study sessions or anything, but damned I'll be if I want them to be able to blame anything on me.

I STILL don't have my fucking room key! *not sure she should be telling people this* It's been what, a month? Oh, hopefully not because that'd mean I was gone from WWII for that long. A week or two atleast. No, one week. This would be two, right?

*sighs* In any case... I don't mind betaing Kit's work, or atleast I didn't mind it what?... an hour ago? Maybe because I like her and though I know the series, she knows more about it? She's nice? *shrugs* In either case, it didn't erm... hurt as much as when Summi asked me to beta hers.

I did try though. Because she asked. But the way she asked ... I donno. I just couldn't. I suppose mood also has to do with it. Donno if I could do anything then. I actually hadta put her on stealth for awhile, her and Mushi, though mostly just her.

Yeah... she is a nice kid. *sighs* But they're right. She does act ... a little young for her age. *shrugs* Nevermind though. I'm sure she'll come raving back in at me in some from, loud to polite, later on when I least expect it and can't think how to respond.

I don't like apologising. I shouldn't have to. Society shouldn't be so that you're begging forgiveness for every step you take forward. Yes, I did block Summi, but that doesn't mean I never want to hear from her. Just not today, or any day until I can finally get some sleep so I can tolerate what I should tolerate.

It's been .... woah I lost count. Too long since I slept right. And too long since I slept in my bed at night when I SHOULD be sleeping.

I keep forgetting to tell the conf members that I should be off at a certain time. I was hoping that they'd tell me to get off then, like help me remember?, but I realize that won't be.

I should instead just follow Sawah when she gets off. I didn't know today that she has the same time as me. I wonder if I'll know tomorrow.

*stares at Kit and Crown's online sex* o____O I also forgot to say this, but you've all surely noticed by now that I have sorta of set standards of typing. That I don't go past certain levels of ... actions. Yes, I do 'grope' 'molest' and 'fondle' but I only type those words. That's as far as it goes.

*still likes the name Lingshu and the indentity she created though she tainted it with that Chat*

Dirty ... tired ... dirty chat ... long fingernails.

Email Teacher and Faculty

Catch up with school work

Get back to working on stories

Sweet Cross

Nirvana

Get back to FF.net

Work on Deviantart.com

Get hangers and things for room

Paper Towels

Get books from Home for school

REclean room again

Figure out pattern if moving desk

Socks

Read HP 1 & 2

Clean BIG Paper Box

Finish HTML Tables for site

Friends Banners for site

Should I attempt to go to WWII or try completing what was incomplete? And if I try completing, does that mean I'm out of the course and don't have enough credits for the semester?

Would I have to take another class? That would be bad. Very very bad.

*considers not washing and just lying on the floor so she doesn't sleep through her class*

It ends at about ten? Ten fifteen? And the next one starts at two? Soo... *counts by fingers* Ten thirty or fourty five by the time I'm back to my room. One thirty when I have to leave. That leaves about an hour and a half? I'll just ... my hair. My hair is unclean.

>___>

This isn't fun.

I want rest.

Posts

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 10:46:37 GMT

Sometimes I don't post things here. Sometimes I post them at My Group instead.

It's just a sort of backup place to store my fanfics and poetry and whatnot. When I have it all up to date, I can leave my computer and laptop at home or whatnot when I travel and just use that site to do my work.

It's an umm... idea. Hopefully, eventually, we might be able to do that.

bishonenluvr (6:28:43 AM): Your orgys involve dettached body parts and the like

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 20:22:24 GMT

I'm hungry now.

I don't know if I have to do WorkStudy or not but now I find out, not doing it doesn't hurt my finacial bill. If I do do it, I get 900 dollars which is nice, of course. But now I wonder if that's total or... what?

I'm seeing the people complain about this blah and that blah and I'm trying so hard not to blow up on them. They don't really have it as hard as they think. "No Internet for blah blah! Oh woo is me."

Personally I may not be that better, but you should be lucky you even have a computer! I know quite a few people who don't even have that, and are just lucky enough to get a TV.

I mean seeesh... (ranting/venting here) So you'll be off for a week or two? Big fucking deal.

I was off for a month or more and when I came back all I had to say was "Internet Troubles" and yall left it alone. (... Why did I say that?) But nevermind. My point is why put so much emphassis on Yahell?

If you can't come, you can't come. Simple as that. We'll see you later. Hello and goodbye.

*sighs* My room is a mess now because I was playing with Kitsu-kun on webcam last night. ^-^ I kept vanishing into the darkness like some beast or deamon. Had my light off and all you could see was my glasses because of the laptop's light.

*laughs* Did a few hand puppets for'er.

*considers posting lines from fun 'total darkness hand puppets' time but after doing so, doesn't like them up*

*cackles* Ermm... >.> So my hand puppets were kinda.. vaguish.

bishonenluvr (5:30:11 AM): What...?
bishonenluvr (5:30:20 AM): What did you say about my momma in sign language?
mt_otaku (5:30:26 AM): *laughs*
bishonenluvr (5:30:30 AM): She's a rabid bunny on crack?

bishonenluvr (5:33:22 AM): IT RETURNS!
mt_otaku (5:33:28 AM): LOL
bishonenluvr (5:33:42 AM): Oh!
bishonenluvr (5:33:46 AM): It's just you China-chan
mt_otaku (5:33:46 AM): Hrm?
bishonenluvr (5:33:52 AM): ...Somehow that does not comfort me
mt_otaku (5:33:53 AM): ^-^
mt_otaku (5:33:56 AM): *laughs*
bishonenluvr (5:34:37 AM): China or Moose-demon-china, dammit?!

bishonenluvr (5:54:07 AM): TIS A DEVIL SIGN!
mt_otaku (5:54:10 AM): *laughs8
mt_otaku (5:54:15 AM): uit's a ROCKET!
bishonenluvr (5:54:24 AM): *laughs*
bishonenluvr (5:54:27 AM): EVIL rocket!
mt_otaku (5:54:30 AM): *laughs*
mt_otaku (5:54:34 AM): Boo
bishonenluvr (5:54:43 AM): *shrieks like a little girl*
mt_otaku (5:54:49 AM): LOL
bishonenluvr (5:55:09 AM): A duck...
bishonenluvr (5:55:13 AM): Talking to a snake...
bishonenluvr (5:55:22 AM): About...nipples?
mt_otaku (5:55:22 AM): *laughs*
bishonenluvr (5:55:24 AM): YOU PERV!
mt_otaku (5:55:24 AM): LOL
mt_otaku (5:55:26 AM): ^__^
bishonenluvr (5:55:30 AM): *laughs*
bishonenluvr (5:55:49 AM): Snake says..."yo momma"
bishonenluvr (5:56:03 AM): They start making out?
mt_otaku (5:56:20 AM): *laughs*
bishonenluvr (5:56:23 AM): Duck says "You're better than that old lady"?
bishonenluvr (5:56:25 AM): o_O Ew
mt_otaku (5:56:34 AM): LOL
bishonenluvr (5:56:36 AM): That is wrong in so many ways
bishonenluvr (5:56:41 AM): They fly away?
bishonenluvr (5:56:45 AM): And come back...
bishonenluvr (5:56:51 AM): MAKE UP MIND!

*shrugs* *has the hiccups*

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 17:48:33 GMT

Just had the strangest, oddest dream. Dad told me that bro died on a shrimp boat from a wheat thrasher because he pushed a button. And by IM no less!

'least I think it was them. Their forms were deformed, their faces too mature. Maybe it was Anime? Maybe it was the future?

I'm not sure it was a shrimp boat in particulary, just that he was standing on something solid in the sea. There was machinery around him. I only saw bro in my dream-dream. My inner dream.

The dream before last was odd too... If I could remember it. Right now I'm just wasting time typing this stuff up before class instead of heading down there early or catching a few more winks of sleep.

Heading down there early will do no good. They'll be at lunch still. It ends in another five minutes. And for the winks?...

I slept through two days of classes and my class this morning. Very bad. (Note: equals five classes.)

Might haveta drop/add the classes into a new time schedule. A later one. But I really don't wanna because I don't much feel like going through the Drop/Add drama again.

I might haveto.

Needto clean out my trashcan later. I can't remember the second dream but I do know it was just as disturbing. Somebody died? Got married?

My dreams lately have been disturbing.

I'm pretty sure Dad will marry Alison. He seems to like her better this 'going out' time. Especially after she gave what he said was a 'sincere apology'.

Don't know what 'sincere' is for him.

I do remember something about floors for this dream. Layers. Staircase? I was at the top and looking down the opening in the case (large it was) and ...

I think there was a window infront of me... building or boxes where there.

I remember being downstairs somewhere in the dream. There was a puppy in a standing tool box. Ye probably never seen'em but the look sorta like cabinets but hold tools.

*sighs* I remember holding and playing with the puppy. Then setting it down or something and it peed on the floor.

I think I calmly cleaned up the pee, and asked someone about the dog before it wet the ground. They said something ..... can't remember it now. Something about how it was... almost time to go.

Feel a bit better now.

Not so... out of it.

Playing with font colors.

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 07:20:17 GMT

1.) Copy and paste this into your journal:
<*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font>
2.) [Eliminate the asterisks]
3.) See what color you are

Kitsu-kun

Lisboa Miraflores

Mao Lingshu

mt_otaku

sire_thanatos

writers_art

Wouldn't be surprised if sire_thanatos is red or black...

*blinks at the colors and laughs*

Piss off fuckers.

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 23:52:46 GMT

Fucking fuck cunt piss cocksockers mutherfucking ass pansy shit face two timing dickhead shit hole asshead crap for brains half housed monkey assface dickweed recycled horse crap bitch whore anal assfucking monkey shit face two timing desperado vagabond trick shit ass piece balony titface suckass dimwit cockhead crackwhore.

Kuso shimatta chikushou bakamono bakayaro baka Kono yaro Kusottare ching ching kin tama baita fuzakeru gaki ketsunoana.

Putain merde mangles de merde tu me fais chier encule cul va chier.

Fortz depp hore blode fotze drecksau scheisse scheissekopf.

Malacca vlaca skila poutsos mounee.

Zonah zayin tahat hutzpa manyak.

Mierde culo verga puta cagar puto hacete cojer chinchis cagas chupamos hijo de mil putas.

Mak kau ada kotek. Mak kau ada puki. Mak kau jolok diri sendiri sebab tu dapat anak sial macam kau! Pantat puki konek peler chin hooi jubur kepala butoh tetek bodoh celaka jilat puki melancap BAPUK pelacur.

Geseki kochu seki shibbal toejora hop'ung chang nhyu shikoro babo ge ji ral horo ga shik ji ral yhun byung myung chung yi shib seki yumago go-ja pabajay yoos mik uh dong mogo ano shipal chang nuh horo mejo net mejo comiday su su ssang nyon dakcho bbasooni shipjangseng jokkah sekki ssibural.

Fasz kivan fos Kibasztam, mint macskajt szarni.

Fucking piece of shit ass skank wanker whore two-timing degradation of society vagabond waste of flesh piece of whore mouth shithead son'a bitch jackass dickface.

user color

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 05:43:55 GMT

1.) Copy and paste this into your journal:
<*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font>
2.) [Eliminate the asterisks]
3.) See what color you are

mirai_toran

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 04:19:24 GMT

I'm dead tired. So dead tired it's not fuckin funny. I can give you two proofs of it. Right now I really can't stand the conf, and I did a 'dead drop' three times today.

A dead drop is when you COMPLETELY just drop dead where ever you are standing, sitting, or whatever and sleep. Times vary, of course, but usually I don't drop dead but for once a month.

And I actually dreamed! Dreams happen for me once every three to four months!

I've literally got just about zero sleep this week. Conf's ended for me from six to seven and Dad gets home at eight or wakes up. Sometimes nine, or ten if we're really lucky.

I have NOTHING packed and I leave tomorrow. Sure, I've written the list out and my clothes have just finished the wash cycles, but I'm too tired to fold and pack the clothes and I sure as hell can't wait until tomorrow to finish up.

I'm so confused, lost. I don't want to be alone.

I told dad that I didn't want to go with Alison to get my hair cut but still he makes me and rants blah blah when I get back. I'm too tired to even type. I'll finish this later.

Just needed to vent. Could tell I was taking something out on Maru today.

And I don't like Harry Potter. I tolerate it at best. Sometimes I hate it. The fan art's nice sometimes, when I feel like looking at it.

I am sick of people talking about/asking me if I read the Fifth Book. Just plain sick.

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 07:53:59 GMT

*waves fist at Neopets* FUCKING fuckers fucking the fuck out FUCK!

*shakes head* I'm not bad! I've never been kicked outa anything! But YOU! You... twice?!

There was nothing wrong with the damn group!! You ..... *glares*

I shouldn't be afraid! I shouldn't be nervous! You will NOT be forgiven!